had i the strength
to reach my hand
out to your face,
i'd lack the spite
to drive my nails
into your eyes---
sunshower blue and storming.
you would weaken
my already-damaged defenses:
i'd pause with awe
at the feel of my palm
on your cheek,
the warmth of my skin
on your skin once more.
go to her.
go.
i can't make myself scorn you
and you,
do you feel no remorse?
i wonder. when your eyes
saw a new day
and found mine waiting
did you not feel
that they should find hers?
look back to me
from time to time,
but run, i wish i could
push you now,
to her.
meet her gaze
and hold it---
i know you won't spare
a glance my way,
these unselfish eyes
always looking to you...
well, you know i'm a glutton
for pain.
in darkness she's waiting
with hope in her heart,
untouched by the taste of your lies;
she knows only of needles
and angel wings.
there were many things
i needed you to give me;
yet all she asked of you
was not to hurt her, not to burn her
like all the rest.
although at times
i close my eyes,
i'm still not blind.
i realize there's a difference.
you never promised me.
a work in progress...
as is my state of mind, but i will get to a point where i see everything for what it is, change what i can, and accept when i cannot. i am strong enough to do that. and i will.
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